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”“I know.”I felt that tingly rush of blood as my body prepared for sex, “Are you sure you still want to do this?”“Yes, my dear Teddy, I do. I never want to return to the way I was before you and Bill showed me how to make love. I need that wonderful feeling of euphoria that sex provides. I hope to find someone to love almost as much as I love you. Until then, I need you.”I don’t know what I would have done if she said she had changed her mind.I picked her up. She put her head on my shoulder and her arms around my neck as I carried her to the bed. I placed one knee on the bed, leaned in, and laid her down. I was surprised at how light she had felt in my arms.She lifted her butt as I stripped off her panties and bent over and kissed her vagina. I stood back up, pushed my boxers down, and kicked them off. Mom kicked the covers down to the bottom of the bed. I got up on the bed, knelt next to her, and took a minute to admire the woman I was about to make love to. “You have changed so. The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that.
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